He Always Listens

October 2012

"Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21."

~Thomas S. Monson~

In August of 2012,
I began my senior year of high school. I dreaded the school year and looked forward to the future of college and independence. Truthfully, I felt like I was stuck in slow motion, but I realized later that it was because I wasn't listening or preparing for the right events.

As September came to a close, I found myself really struggling to fill out and complete college applications. It was frustrating, especially because I was behind the curve at my school when it came to applying. It seemed that no one wanted me to go to college. My printer spazzed out every time I tried to print out an application, my computer lost the beginning of a college essay, some of my friends began arguing that my choices in colleges were sub par, my Councillors forgot about an appointment I had set up and failed to reschedule with me, and I had no support from anyone.

I spent many a night on my knees in prayer;
I begged and fasted for an answer as to why nothing was going right for me. As time and time again, my prayers were left unanswered, I grew more distressed. For me, it was a rarity to even look toward my future, let alone make the steps to prepare for it, so why wasn't the Lord helping me with it?

My faith began to slip away, and I ignored the spirit and shook off my testimony. I would repeatedly ask myself what was so wrong with me that God had dismissed himself from my life. One day, I sat down to the computer. Attempt number thirteen to write the darn college essay. 3 hours past by and I had a mere sentence.

What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
The words rang in my head. I slammed my hands down on the keyboard and deleted the document. At that point, I had decided that I was done: no going to college, no aspiring for greatness, no more trying, no more doing, just no more. I was going to ride the wave, let good things happen to me, and let my life live itself.

Great plan? Maybe, but that didn't happen, because that was when I changed the way I prayed. I knelt down right there in front of the computer, and instead of saying "God, tell me," I began to say, "God, lead me."

The first weekend in October was General Conference.
I was lying in my bed that Saturday morning listening to the first session. President Thomas S. Monson took his place at the pulpit to welcome everyone to the 182nd Semiannual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Remember that number because that General Conference was the one that changed the world again, for the better.

I was only listening halfheartedly--still upset from the lack of answers despite my prayers--when I heard the most bizarre thing:

For some time the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have allowed young men from certain countries to serve at the age of 18 when they are worthy, able, have graduated from high school, and have expressed a sincere desire to serve.

WAIT! WHAT?! Go on...

This has been a country-specific policy and has allowed thousands of young men to serve honorable missions and also fulfill required military obligations and educational opportunities.

Our experience with these 18-year-old missionaries has been positive. Their mission presidents report that they are obedient, faithful, mature, and serve just as competently as do the older missionaries who serve in the same missions. Their faithfulness, obedience, and maturity have caused us to desire the same option of earlier missionary service for all young men, regardless of the country from which they come.

After hearing this, I admit I was a little bitter. I've been wanting to serve a mission for a long long time, but women cannot serve missions before they're 21, and I have a few years.

I am pleased to announce that effective immediately all worthy and able young men who have graduated from high school or its equivalent, regardless of where they live, will have the option of being recommended for missionary service beginning at the age of 18, instead of age 19. I am not suggesting that all young men will—or should—serve at this earlier age. Rather, based on individual circumstances as well as upon a determination by priesthood leaders, this option is now available.

So I sat in my bed sulking and being negative and not caring, because I was being selfish. Sure, I was excited for the young men I knew that would now have the opportunity to go at the end of the school year, but I was still really down. The next part made me kneel once more in prayer.

Because my prayers were finally answered.

As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.

There it was. The reason why nothing went the way I'd wanted it to was because I was going on a mission soon and I had been too stubborn to see that God intended something else for me. So this time, when I knelt in prayer, I thanked God, and I apologized for my bad attitude.

People always talk about how our prayers will not always be answered right away, or in the way we want them to, or even in the way we expect them to. It didn't hit me how true that really is until I had that struggle. Now I know for certain that God will never abandon me and He's always listening, even when I don't think He is. I know He's here for us, I know He knows us, and I know He loves us.

In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.